Ha ha Thisaway, Ha ha Thataway – my oh my!! *

27 05 2008

I was looking for some excitement to jump start the torpor of my surroundings and this week I have every night, Britain’s Got Talent. I’m still undecided about what I think of this programme, particularly when it comes to children being involved. Jackson and I were talking about it the other night and there seems to be two lines of thought on it –  1) let them get on with it; they’re resilient and they’ll bounce back, 2) don’t let them on because their dreams might be crushed and they’ll never get over it and suffer agoraphobia from large crowds for ever more. Part of me thinks that children have years ahead of them to have their lucky break, compared to the dozens of other entertainers who are just waiting for their day to come around. I’m also a bit biased because I can’t bear those lispy, dribbly performances. I do wonder if the scars of failure run deep though and if confidence problems will spring up to haunt them just as they’re about to sit their A levels or say their wedding vows  – nausea will rise up and up and the sound of three HONKS will be an ever lasting tinnitus-like presence. 


The other problem I see in BGT is the long standing question of ‘does Prince Charles really want to see this?’. I know that sounds elitist though, and that the Royal Variety show is for everyone, but I’d happily replace my name with that of royalty – do I really want to see this?? Piers goes on about how the show is exactly about the risible, embarrassing and hapless case who turns up with an unpolished act. Well yes, Britain does have that sort of talent, and in one sense that runs as an undercurrent to a lot of our cultural output, but we have it in spade loads up and down the country. The Royal Family does not want to watch someone resembling a Christmas cracker singing in drag, they can get that down the Working Mens’ Club on a Saturday night. Seeing someone squeezed into a body length pair of pantyhose and a triangular wig resembling Wizbit is not representative of anything unique about Britain. There’s raw talent and there’s polished talent and then there’s pure tat. Even the large dance acts, although I can see why they’re popular (music! lights! movement! recognisable song we can all sing along to), are so samey. Doing the Hustle is not just old in terms of being 30 years old, but to revisit it, ‘ironically’ or not, is a bit old hat. 


Wizbit – also an Old Hat

Now my favourite acts did get through on tonight’s semi final: we were so rooting for wee Gin tonight. That is an act which has not been seen here before and shows how, from just a small corner of the country something new, entertaining, charming, touching and fun can arise. The singer who lost out, I think he has a great voice, but he’ll be snapped up by the West End in no time at all, and really, he should have jumped off the stage again, because as I said once before, the audience love a bit of movement. Every year there’ll be a breakthrough singing talent that lights up pound signs in Cowell’s eyes, so yes, I think the wee dog should win because it’s something we haven’t seen before. Signature also represent great talent that’s been practised over and over, and is polished and slick. And, it is modern and it is progressive; it’s taken two elements of well known and popular culture but brought them forward with a new vision to 2008, giving us something which Britain should be proud of to showcase and which we’d enjoy watching (something off track here, but some of the comments about the duo on Youtube, questioning their “Britishness”, are immature, unnecessary and idiotic).  


I’m no actor/singer/dancer myself but I’ve done my penance in some musical theatre. I was told I was always ‘smiling’, like an idiot I’m sure, even if I didn’t have the best voice on stage. But the nerves from going on stage, the sickening feeling of the curtain about to rise, pales into comparison to the nausea I feel every time I see an Iceland frozen BBQ advert. There is something criminally wrong with a 25 piece FROZEN BBQ set that only costs 5 pounds. BOIK!


* that’s the Wizbit theme tune for anyone born after 1986