Song nostalgia!

5 10 2008

I’m feeling slightly nostalgic for Paul Simon’s Graceland album right now. I don’t know why, we used to have it playing a lot around the house when I was young and I suddenly got a notion to listen to it again today. Paul Simon’s got such an effortless voice, it just seems to flow out of him so naturally, and he’s so COOL in that ‘Call me Al’ video. Lots of singers these days sound like they just don’t care and think speaking the lines in a London accent constitutes an award singing voice, or they just sound like they’re forcing it. I can’t sing – I definitely sound like there’s a small metal clasp pinching my vocal chords as I strain away. Although whiskey always seems to help – perhaps in my head only. I was watching a video of Paul Simon playing Graceland at a concert in Zimbabwe and there was a wee man standing to his left playing guitar, wearing a cool cat hat, and he was so happy and smiley – he looked like he was having the time of his life up there.

I was slightly intrigued the other day as to why dogs’ paws smell like biscuits. So I turn to google, as usual, and type in ‘why do dogs’ paws smell like biscuits?’. And the first result I got was a survey for the smell of dog paws and the top result was ‘Digestives’!! I still don’t know why this is so, but it’s kind of sweet but gross at the same time, especially when there are 12 paws on top of you!

My apathy after Friday night’s hedonistic celebrations by the neighbours has continued today. I hope you like the song I wrote about it, you don’t need a London accent to sing it but it might help you visualize the look of utter dispair on my face as the night wore on.


Thanks to whomever put the lyrics over their video to ‘I know what I know’. I can now have my very own karaoke party in front of my computer. I saw Lady Smith Black Mambazo at Proms in the Park one year, we then ended up at a rugby club party in the suburbs somewhere and my friend made out with a guy on the bouncy castle. Classy! 


I’m going to listen to Bowie now. Ferkel is snoring happily, he’s such a Fart Face.


And a one, two, three, four….

4 10 2008

It’s late, there’s a party going on next door. I wrote a song. To the tune of ’99 Red Balloons’.

Neun und neunzig screaming kids
Neighbours playing 80s hits
An infection in my wisdom tooth
Travels down my throat, makes me uncouth.
Friday night, I’m stuck indoors
Trawling the net for paramours
All I find are masochists
“Lick my feet and feel my whip.”

As I type in apathy, three dogs leap all over me
Sitting here in raggy threads
At least it’s a way to earn my bread
But my pants still sag and my hair’s a mess.
The heating’s broken, the pipes are frozen
My fingers blue from no circulation
The shops are shut, I’ve got no food
Dang, the dog’s just gone and pooed.

So here I am with a gammy tooth
Flirting with strangers, not telling the truth
‘Hotel California’ playing next door
I’m getting tired, gonna lie on the floor.
Staring up I see a crack
A very small eye is staring back
I give them the finger, I think they want more
I wonder what the neighbours saw.