Young, gifted and black

5 08 2008

There’s a new pup in my life and sadly she seems to be reflecting Nina Simone’s songs about being Misunderstood and Young, Gifted and Black. The poor wee thing is a resuce dog, part labarador, part collie, part setter or greyhound and part panther. That’s right, part panther. So next time you stop me to tell me how to train my dog, watch out, she has sly paws! I know people only mean the best but unless you are the leckerlie lady or a dog trainer, you really don’t know anything about her! So watch out for Panther Paws (pics to follow soon). 

She is just misunderstood though, she doesn’t want to growl and jump about, she wants to be curled up like a cat on the sofa or sit upright on mine or Jackson’s lap despite being HUGE! The only saving grace is that due to the stress of being at the pound she is total skin and bones (but still a panther with giant ears). 

She’s great for cruizzzing though, for which the treelined bouvelards where I now roam are perfect. The only thing is, my success at trying to see what’s out there has been limited to a portly man in a striped sailor t-shirt, who attempted to dance around me, a man who came straight up to me proclaiming the words “First we sing, then we dance” to a merry tune and a free Chocolate Croissant, which I think isn’t bad work and brightened up my Sunday afternoon working – yawn. 


So what am I to do now that I have no TV, no DVD player and no internet access zu Hause? Why, return to the first series of 24 and introduce them to Jackson! The excitement of those early episodes, not knowing if Jack would ever make it, Teri, Kim’s wrinkles disappearing in series 2, Nasty Nina, all came back to me! 

We have been laughing though at how much the first series looks like a theatre set, with the made-for-TV acting, the dry ice, the prisons and abandoned warehouses that resemble the opening of Last Exit to Brooklyn. Is the US still stuck in the 1990’s though? Sometimes I think America is the forerunners for a lot of things, but the costume designs for 24 are so cringeworthy, not to mention Jamie’s giant, 90’s, straight cut fringe and Jack’s button-up long sleeved tshirt and market-trader jacket with bright orange lining – NOT SEXY JACK! 

Jack’s acting really seems to be limited to looking up, down, left and right in the style of Pat Butcher from East Enders, although I still love you Kief! I was trying to catch when the infamous words ‘Son of a Bitch’ were uttered, somewhere around disc 4 of series 1 I think. Still, I can’t really criticize the adoption of Pat Butcher mannerisms, having to constantly change my voice from one of groomed Home Counties accent to the chavvy growl of LEAVE IT as the new dog steals yet another slipper, shoe, alarm clock, hairbrush or pillow. I just need to insert JANINE!! after it and put on a pair of heavy-swinging earrings and Pat and I could be as one. I wish I had a dog of my own, as the new one is really Jackson’s but she does think I’m her ‘Mistress’ as we went together to pick her up (rescue her from the torment of yelping fighting dogs – get your dogs neutred for crying out loud). Dogs are great for meeting people and chatting away, everyone wants to know her story and she’s so pretty they all love her. I LOVE DOGGIES! and cats, and ponies, and, and, and – this is getting too slushy for a blog. Everytime Jackson and I have a conversation about something serious, the use of consumerism as means of distraction, say, or the defunct tradition of ‘giving away’ a bride I always mean to write them down, but instead I’ve gone to doggy slush talk. 


‘Kim’s disapearing wrinkles, the grand-narrative use of ‘Son of a Bitch, wars being fought over information, Graem Bauer’s New World Order and the rise of the Panoptical subject position in the CTU headquarters are demonstrations of Post-modernity. With Jamie’s murder being shown to us on CCTV, fictional reality is shown through fictional reality, so are Kim’s nipples really an illusion? Discuss.’




2 responses

6 08 2008
Prince Gomolvilas

When does Jack start muttering, “DAMMIT!”?

7 08 2008

(DAMMIT! SONOFABITCH!) + (look left, right, up, down)

=Golden Globe Award!

(still love it though!)

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